If you can't laugh at life, skip over to the deeply religious column on an adjoining page so you can save your immortal soul.

A few weeks ago on Saturday, August 25, I performed my first wedding and only made one mistake.

I had said, "Please rise for the bride" - which they most certainly did.

About 10 minutes later, Shelley Dahl, the mother of the bride, spoke out loudly from the front row of the folding chairs.

"You mind if we sit down?" she said.

"Not at all, darling," I said. "I assumed you were all Catholics!"

Or, some damn thing.

A week or so later, Shelley, who is a widow, wrote me a ni...