Always, I have believed that there is nothing too small to steal.

Otherwise, why would they have security cameras in, of all places, hardware store aisles where there are just bolts and nuts.

Why? Because they don't want to be nickeled and dimed to death.

Have I ever stolen anything?

I was born a thief. It's in my genetic makeup, and my mother tried to beat it out of me.

Every day, my mother, would counsel me, "Jeffrey, never steal so much as a pin!"

What did I want with a pin?

In a grocery store, I would steal nickel candy bars like it was Halloween.

Sweet Jesus, I was headed to hell.

Just...