In which this scamp toasts some good friends

It's early Wednesday morning and I'm wrapping things up. Ordinarily, I've written this headache by Monday night and then I can breathe a sigh of relief.

Or, just swear at myself.

I hate this column.

It will be the first to go once I downsize. When you write a straight piece for the front page, you're not sharing personal thoughts or making reckless comments that will surely tick somebody off.

I like people.

Friends are good.

Enemies are bad.

I hate having to avoid some people who still harbor thoughts of doing great mayhem to my scrawny body.

That happens when, by my count, I've written over 1...