Do Not Read This Column If You Suffer From Cacophobia

Beautiful!

Every day, I spend time looking for local topics and characters for the front page.

Then, on one particular day, which I call "Column Day," I try to select something that will make everyone feel good - and even think such great thoughts as, "I should buy that little bugger a beer."

Actually, a cold Coke is my favorite beverage.

Buy me a six-pack in fact.

Once, writing this column was great fun. You could pick any topic, even Richard Nixon, and folks wouldn't go off their rockers.

There was a whole world stage of outlandish characters like Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker, who were delightf...