Counting Christmas Blessings

December is a month when I remember to count my blessings more often than any other month. It's the time of year that I enjoy shopping for all the special people in my life.

Grandchildren are always at the top of my list. I have six grandchildren, plus a bonus granddaughter. They are scattered from Seattle to Bismarck, Thief River Falls, Baudette and North Carolina. This will be my second Christmas that I've celebrated having a great-granddaughter as well. Until a person has grandchildren and great-grandchildren, there is no imagining the overwhelming love you will have for them.

The gifts I choose for my grandchildren are not expensive, but they are well thought out weeks ahead of time. Often I buy books as part of their gift. Now that they are older, it's necessary to consult their parents about what they enjoy reading. My sons are great about helping me choose the perfect gift that will assure a happy gift opening.

My friends and I don't often shop for each other or even get a Christmas card in the mail the way we once did, now that social media lets us send a quick greeting with our phone. This will be the first Christmas in more years than I can count, that I won't be receiving a Christmas card from my friend, Brenda.

Brenda was never too busy to put Christmas cards in the mail for her friends and family. Even after she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and battled for over 17 years to stay with her family, her cards still arrived in the mail each December.

Brenda's Christmas cards often featured her with her husband, Udean, surrounded by their three sons, their wives, and grandchildren. It was a great way to see their family grow year after year even with many miles between us.

The last time I saw Brenda was on a trip back from Rochester in November 2022, when Verna and I met Brenda and Udean in St. Cloud for breakfast. We both ordered crepes with strawberries. We planned to get together again. They were hoping to make a trip up north.

We had several long phone conversations after that, but sadly I delayed my visit to Glenwood until Brenda was too ill for company. They never made that trip up north. She said she wanted me to remember her the way she looked when we last took a photo together.

The very last time I heard from Brenda was on January 6th of this year. After that, the texts I sent went unanswered. I knew her time to pass into heaven was near.

I wasn't ready. None of us were. Not her loving husband, Udean. Not her handsome sons, Kaleb, Brock and Cody, or her lovely daughters-in-law. Not her precious grandchildren. Not her siblings Bob and Barb and their families.

Not her many friends she attended WHS with as part of the Class of '75. Not her friend, Mary, in Glenwood who helped her so much in her final days, having lost her spouse to cancer a couple years before. Mary knew what to expect.

But Brenda was ready to rest from her long battle with ovarian cancer. As much as she wanted more than anything to stay with her family, she was so tired. Once her doctors at the University of Minnesota told Brenda the chemo was no longer shrinking her tumors, she had spent the last year of her life taking part in several cancer trials that she hoped would make a difference. We all prayed for a miracle. But all the trials she took part in only made her feel sicker than she had ever felt. After a long year of trials, she didn't want to try another one.

Brenda knew that November 27, 2023 was her last birthday here on earth. She turned 66 that day. She knew Thanksgiving and Christmas 2023 were her last holidays with her family. She told me it felt strange to have her sons and their wives prepare the holiday meals while she rested. She was extremely grateful to share these final holidays with her family.

For those of you who never met Brenda Ravndalen Sargent, you missed out on knowing a caring, loving and beautiful woman. Her smile was wide and her heart was big. She had the most striking red hair that at times looked almost orange. Her laugh was delightful.

Brenda had the sweetest way about her. In the nearly 60 years we were best friends, beginning back in Roosevelt Grade School, I never heard an unkind word from her. Brenda treated others with grace and kindness. She was always the truest of friends.

And so as I'm counting my blessings this December; I am counting Brenda's friendship as one of my life's greatest blessings. I've missed her in so many immeasurable ways this year since she passed on January 31st.

When I was recently hired as the new librarian for the City of Williams, I couldn't wait to tell Brenda. I knew she would be happy for me. We shared a great love of books and often shared our favorite titles. Then I remembered, as I have many times throughout this year; I couldn't call or text Brenda. But still I feel her spirit with me. I still share my latest news with her.

The memories that Brenda, Verna, and I made together as Roosevelt girls will always be with me. The slumber parties, the bike rides together, skating at the Roosevelt ice rink, the school dances, and taking turns as each other's bridesmaids. We congratulated each other as each of us gave birth to three sons. Then more congratulations as the grandchildren arrived.

Verna and I drove to Glenwood for Brenda's Celebration of Life on February 10th. Brenda had chosen the songs that were played by their church band. They were beautiful, heartfelt and reflected her great faith.

She had chosen her favorite photos for her program that showed her wonderful spirit and her love of life. Although she had warned her pastor not to expect too many to attend her funeral, since it would probably be the coldest and snowiest part of winter, their church was full.

Brenda was correct about one thing, and that was the weather. It was cold and snowy and many of us got caught in heavy snowfall on our return drive home. But we attended her Celebration of Life in spite of the February weather, because she had touched each of us so deeply with her love. Brenda's Celebration of Life truly was a celebration; a celebration of a life well lived. I love and miss you Brenda. Thank you for being my friend.

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened."

Dr. Suess