With apologies, I let an elderly reader down

Terrific!

The letter arrived at the Roseau Times-Region sometime in mid-December and included the obituary for Helen P. Donaldson, a 1929 model, who was quite the gal.

She surely was.

I don't usually get fan mail, which is understandable because any number of Hedonists, Baptists, Catholics, Republicans, Protestants, hypocrites, and Fruitcakes are offended when they read this column.

Send money and I will quit.

Ten grand would be sufficient.

The letter was from Melody Goodboe, 63, who included her cellphone number.

She opened with "Dear Jeff."

Sweet.

That sure beats one old battle-axe who was i...