It is better to give than to receive!

I was sick a lot as a child.

Other times I faked it so I could skip elementary school.

I was no Ferris Bueller.

I had a mother who was always suspicious of a con, especially if she had to be gone for the day.

She'd grab the rectal thermometer, and I made an instant recovery. Lazarus would have been impressed.

"No, skip the thermometer. I'm feeling better now."

And when I was really sick, some lady in the neighborhood would drop off a plant.

Son of a beach, I thought, couldn't she bring me a candy bar!

Even worse, I was raised by a 100-percent German mother, who dragged my aching body out of be...