February 9, 2024
This is Valentines Week. As I was waking up this morning the word P.E.A.C.E. came into my mind and kept repeating itself over and over. So lets see where this word takes us.
I don’t go with formulas or quick fixes when it comes to mending relationships. Some relationships start with excitement and expectation, others may start with questions and insecurity. It depends on the formation of your past, and your expectations of the future. Patterns, because of the past will form, and will impact both negatively or positively . We have a tendency to repeat ourselves and and then when it comes to a conflict, we often think one-sided. “This is what I need, this is what I want, etc. A peaceful home is what this column is about. It doesn’t happen by itself.
What you hear, smell, see, taste, and touch, each or all, separate or intertwined, will impact your environment. For instance, have you ever thought what your words, leave in the air? Like an air freshener it will leave an odor. Words have power. Mix that with a gesture, the impact will create a situation where you may need to say, “I’ve got to get out of here!” Just saying. Remember no conflict is completely one sided. You have a “cause”, and you have a “reaction”. The “reaction” in another’s eyes, will become a “cause”.
Another word which applies to having a relationship is need. Perceived need will produce desire which can be both healthy or unhealthy. There is work to be done, if you want a relationship to continue. Do you have goals? Are they self centered goals? Are you willing to give up your rights if necessary to meet anther’s need?
When you lose the familiar like the loss of a spouse, a very important person or a huge piece of your life will be missing. Some people, out of loneliness, look for another partner right away. Unexpected feelings connected to loneliness, can slam you. It may bring you into confusion, and even despair. This is a natural reaction with any kind of loss. You may find yourself overreacting or just plain overthinking which may seem like obsessive behavior. The term “I can’t live without”, will set the stage for possible compromise which will produce potential conflict.
A peaceful quiet heart. Secure, rested, and fulfilled. How is this acquired? The process of grief is complicated and everyone is different. Needs and experience will differ from one individual to another. One thing though, which is very important: You need to be aware of why you feel like you do. Feelings should never be the final dictator of your actions. Desire can be both healthy and unhealthy. Just remember, desire can mask your real need.
The following is what I am personally doing to bring daily peace. It is a day to day thing, and at times even moment by moment.
P. Pray asking God’s protection over my mind and actions.
E. I try to evaluate my decisions. Rev. David Peterson, pastor at Northland Assembly, once said, and I quote, “Don’t make permanent decisions out of a temporary situation. Transition takes time. Ask yourself: Am I compromising right now in order to get a “quick fix”? You are vulnerable, be wise and be careful.
A. Anchor yourself in God’s Word. Scripture has wisdom and will help you regain your focus. Anchor your daily life to Christ.
C. Compromise NOT! A moment of weakness, or vulnerability can end in a lot of pain and disfunction.
E. End your day with the knowledge that you are not alone. If you abide in Christ, then, He abides in you. You will have access to His spirit who lives within you.
Jesus said in John 14:16-18, “And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever; even the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it sees him not, neither knows him: but ye know him; for he dwells with you, and shall be in you.”
Deuteronomy 31:8 “The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”