Announcing the Invitees to the Mosquito Open

Give me lots of rain, Lord, so we can do things proper and make everybody miserable when I host Bro's Mosquito Open with a various cast of rogues, scamps, suckers, carpetbaggers, scalawags, stumblebums, bindlestiffs, and the beautiful crowd.

We missed the last couple of years because of the drought, but the weatherman is promising more rain and mosquitoes for the Open, presently scheduled for a Friday or Saturday night in early August.

The leadoff guest is none other than President Donald J. Trump, who will land his chopper on my firebreak and begin insulting everyone while trying to schmooze...